What I learned from sitting on the other side of a casting panel

For years, I treated auditions like they were a test. An exam. Something to get right.

And to be fair, they are called 'screen-tests'. You are being tested against the material, against the vision of the production.

But that doesn't mean that every time we audition, we should beat ourselves up for every little perceived mistake we make in that room.

I used to walk out of an audition (that I had prepped hard for, and that I had tried hard during) and immediately replay every moment through the lens of - yes, you guessed it - unrelating self-criticism.

'You rushed that line.'

'You shouldn't have emphasised that word that way.'

'You didn't take that direction properly.'

Even things that had nothing to do with my work.

'You were awkward when you entered the room.'

'You should have worn something black.'

And... 'Oh God, why did you make that stupid joke about your cat?'

If I didn't book the job - and let's be honest, most of the time we don't - my brain would come up with a very compelling list of reasons why that was all my fault.

But then I got to creating my own work. I founded theatre companies. I wrote plays. And all of a sudden, I found myself on the opposite side of the casting panel. By being in charge of the work, I was able to reclaim a little of my personal power - and I learned an important lesson about auditions.

Your work can be strong. Bold. Brilliant.

You can do everything right.

And still not get that role.

Because casting decisions are rarely about the tiny things that actors punish themselves for. Casting conversations are usually much more macro.

Does this person feel like they belong in the world of the story?

Do they make sense opposite the person we have already cast?

Do they carry the right energy for this role, across a whole piece, not just one scene?

Sometimes it's even more practical. Height differences. Age reads. Physicality. The fact that two actors look like siblings when the story needs romantic chemistry. The puzzle is already half built - casting is looking for the piece that completes it.

And that might feel disempowering.

So you're saying there's nothing I can do? It's just all outside my control?

But I actually found it liberating.

It's your job to give your version. You in that role.

It's Casting's job to decide who they want.

I'm not pretending auditions are easy now. I still want the job. I still feel the sting of a no. But sitting on the other side made me stop treating every outcome as a verdict on my talent.

Put your attention back where it belongs.

Do your homework. Take the direction. Give your best.

And then leave.

Torturing yourself afterwards doesn't help you get a part - it just messes with your head.

In fact, don't just leave. Go get yourself a treat. You worked hard - give yourself that little dopamine hit!

This keeps your motivation high, and if you’re a mum and anything like me, your self-care can drop to the bottom of the list. But by filling your cup first, you have the energy and the reserves to fill the cups of others around you.

So take this as my permission to reward yourself with

🔹something delicious- hit up that bakery

🔹something soothing- apply that nice skincare, take a bath, light a candle, read a book

🔹something fun- get a gaming session in, see a movie, or play some cards

🔹something for you- book that appointment. You know the one

And keep at it. Your work is great. Your work-ethic is also great. There's a role for you.

You just need to be ready for it when that time comes.

Stay creative,

Laura x